The first Army Men metallic Truck
M34 Deuce (“Miniature Edition”) at 8 Inches:
Role:
In the tiny world of plastic logistics, the M34 Deuce Truck is the Die Cast hero. It’s like the Post office delivery van for the little plastic soldiers, bringing supplies, morale, and tiny plastic pizzas to the front lines.
Design:
Sturdy and dependable, the M34 boasts six wheels (because ten wheels would be overkill in the sandbox).
- Top Speed: Zooms along at a blistering 56 mph (90 km/h) when chased by the neighbor’s RC car.
- Cab Options:
– Canvas Soft Top: Perfect for sunny days when the plastic sun is shining.
– Metal Hard Top: Equipped with extra insulation for those chilly nights when the AC is cranked up in the dollhouse. - Front Winch: Some M34s sport a winch, because you never know when you’ll need to tow a stranded 1/32 or 1/18 Die Cast car.
Nickname:
It inherited the moniker “Deuce and a Half” from its older sibling, the World War II GMC CCKW. The name stuck because it sounded cooler than “half a dozen and a quarter.”
Cargo Capacity:
- Off-Road: The M34 can carry up to 5,000 pounds (2,300 kg) of plastic ammo crates, camouflage netting, and extra shoelaces for the troops.
- On Roads: When cruising on the living room carpet highways, it confidently handles 10,000 pounds (4,500 kg) of imaginary cargo.
Dimensions:
- Height: A mere 3 inches (7.6 cm) tall, just enough to clear Blocko-Man barricades.
- Width: A respectable 3 inches (7.6 cm) wide enough for a plastic driver and a sidekick.
- Length: A whopping 8 inches (20 cm) longer than the average bedtime story but shorter than a bedtime tantrum.
Historical Significance:
The M34 served in countless campaigns since 2002: the Battle of Under-the-Bed, the Siege of Pillow Fort, the Defense of Greentown from 2004 and the Great Toy Room Cleanup.
Legend has it that an M34 once hauled an entire battalion of Army Men soldiers to safety during the Great Toy Box Flood of ’03.
And when the green army needed a morale boost, the M34 blared its tiny horn (which sounded suspiciously like a kazoo).